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Message:

> > > > Matt: You misrepresent me.  (again, actually!)  So let me be clear:
> > > > 
> > > > [i][b]
> > > > The sense of self must only disappear if you're aiming for Nibbana![/b][/i]
> > > > 
> > > > Never once in this exchange have I [b][i]ever [/i][/b]asserted otherwise, and in fact, this might be the fifth time I've had to repeat these words!
> > > > 
> > > > Desires, variably, imbibe in moderation, but with consciousness.  However, again, if you make Nibbana your goal, you will naturally replace worldly desires with meditative desires until eventually you break through.  Why?  Because it strengthens your meditations.  So naturally, you'll live a more ascetic life.
> > > > 
> > > > I thought I was clear that my goal wasn't nibbana, apparently I need to say that again as well.  To achieve 'balance' as you say, doesn't require Nibbana.  THAT work is for monks.  I am not a monk.  Monks can do monk things, I'll be living my life as before, but with hopefully some more grace.
> > > 
> > > David:  Matt, you seem to live at a high intensity level, that would make me uncomfortable. At the same time, I admire your degree of erudition. Are you an autodidact? On the subject in hand, we have different views of self, perhaps in my part with a theistic concept of my soul.
> > 
> > Matt: I would definitely consider myself an autodidact though there are some things that I would probably have never learned without schooling.  
> > 
> > But also, when I choose to study something, I'm very rarely interested in a surface explanation.  I dive deep.  I respect that we have different perspectives, and I feel the world is [i]better [/i]for those perspectives.  It's not lost on me, that I grew up as an only child to a single mother and I developed at a young age an intense worry that I was being too selfish when dealing with other people.  So a message that targets the ego/self as a source of pain in the world has a [b]strong [/b]resonance for me.  I've [b]been [/b][b][i]that [/i][/b]guy.
> 
> Thank you for your personal response. It helps explain you and your contribution.